My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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