I hate all girls vehemently.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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