You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
