She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As shirtless as possible
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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