Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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