Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
