did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize