My nipple is on Facebook.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
