Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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