I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
as a side note pls kill me
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