One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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