I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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