belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
