She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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