it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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