I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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