Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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