i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
