What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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