My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
