fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
