I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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