Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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