you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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