Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
