i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
