Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think i have herpe
just one?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
