Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
