Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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