Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
