i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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