Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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