Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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