At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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