I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dick very happy bro
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize