the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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