I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
