i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
