Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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