we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
