the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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