she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
