i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize