it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
