We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
