is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
