I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's great music for shaving your balls
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
