Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
