My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
