I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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