We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize