I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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