Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
