My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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