bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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