if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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