My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
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Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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