i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
