This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We talked him into tasing himself.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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