kristin has been a bad kristin
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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