3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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