I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
