He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
