he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize